At The Museum of Happiness the other night I was handed a gorgeous little packet by a lovely lady called Tina. On closer inspection i found it was a little guide to saying no more often. She has me pegged.
With Tina Bernstein
Tina co-founded Mapology Guides at the end of 2014. The idea arose from her passion to find different ways to empower individuals to adopt their own approach to mindfulness, well-being and personal development.
This beautifully illustrated little guide started me thinking. My friend and 'Yes' champion Dave Cornthwaite won't thank me for this but 'No' is an important word. Don't get me wrong 'Yes' has changed my life. When I was diagnosed I started saying yes to a lot of things that I had previously said no to and it expanded my world. A few years on and i'm exhausted but have had a lot of fun. I think there's some merit in saying yes and no in equal measures though.
Why?
You don't want to get a reputation
If you're the person that always says yes then people will always come to you. Which feels nice at first but you soon realise it also means you'll be the one who is put on, the one that works later than everyone else, the one that doesn't get to switch off. It's not out of respect that people ask you to be involved with their work, it's the fact you don't sleep.
It belittles the moments when you do really mean 'yes'
By saying yes all the time it sort of takes the control out of your hands so the things you say yes to and really mean it are belittled slightly.
There's only so many hours in the day
Saying yes to everything is very time consuming and leaves very little time for self-care and well-being. Saying yes to something shouldn't be to the detriment of other things, especially health.
Your gut knows best
Imagine you've said yes. Feel a bit uneasy? It should probably be a no. Trusting your instinct and being proved right on it is good for your confidence and your soul.
'No.' Emma
'Well maybe. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to just ... ok. Sure. Fine.' (Emma a second later.)